Good grief, the Old Grouch has not posted a daily rant since December 7! Can this mean that O.G. and friends are not angry about anything anymore? Hardly! Is it a good excuse to say that O.G. has been so angry that he can't even post about it? Well, I tried.
Movie Grouch has some rants that follow posthaste:
[from Movie Grouch]
CELLPHONES, AND THE PEOPLE WHO USE THEM, CIRCA 2009.
1. What is it with people who maintain a snail's pace while telephoning
and texting in the middle of the grocery aisles, preventing other
customers from doing their business?
2. What are we to do about people on their cellphones ignoring and
crossing against lights, creating a real pedestrian nightmare? A NYC
bus driver told me cellphone idiots were his #1 nightmare.
3. How selfish are those people who walk multiple dogs while on their
cellphone, not only paying no attention whatever to the animals, but
also blocking the sidewalks for passage by anyone else?
4. Have you experienced the insulting nonsense of being at the local
cinema, and not only does the idiot next to you or in front of you
take cellphone calls during the movie, but the moment the end titles
commence, the irritating lights of Blackberries, iPhones and other
instruments distract the attention of those of us who actually pay
attention and read movie credits. Are you so important and your
affairs so transcendent that you cannot even wait until you leave the
cinema?
5. How about waiting for a bus in either the rain or cold and the
person in front dawdles endlessly while telephoning and texting,
totally ignoring the line of customers.
6. Recently I attended a magical performance by the New York
Philharmonic conducted by the hottest name in classical music 2009,
Venezuelan maestro Gustavo Dudamel, of Mahler's fifth symphony.
Despite repeated loudspeaker admonitions to turn off cellphones,
etc., out of deference to both audience and performers, a cellphone
rang loudly just before the downbeat on the sublime Adagietto.
Fortunately Dudamel held the moment and signaled for the miscreant to
please turn off the offending instrument. But another cellphone rang
later during the same movement! Whatever happened to the notion of
citizen's arrest for crimes against mankind?
7. I once admonished an aggressively even offensively loud bus
passenger to please lower her voice during a typically trite
cellphone conversation, saying in exasperation, "You are offensive to
all the passengers around you." Her response of course was an even
louder, "SO ARE YOU!"
8. Why is it that the bulk of cellphone calls on the NYC transit
system inform the recipient of the address of transmission and assure
another call from the next destination stop? What is the purpose of
these calls? My favorite is "I'm at 14th Street; I'll call you again
when I get to 23rd Street."
9. My mother told me of a rebellious moment wherein one bus passenger
asked another to please lower her voice on cellphone, proclaiming
"You're really not that interesting!" to the applause of all the
other passengers on that bus.
10. Whatever happened to common courtesy and sensitivity to the
feelings of your fellow citizens?
[a bit later ... a new email]
I incorrectly figured that sending the transmission before
heading for the Phil insured that nothing could be added to the rant
I e-mailed you. How stupid can I get? It was one of those programming
initiatives to gain younger audiences for classical music, wherein
the first half is about sources and references in the piece (Alec
Baldwin was a nervous but impeccable narrator) -- in this case about
Brahms's first serenade -- and the second half an actual performance
of the piece by a famous conductor, in this case Riccardo Muti. Well,
don't you know -- the creep in front of me turned on his BlackBerry
every five minutes to check something, with a bilious blue glare in
the eyes of everybody nearby. When I could not stand it one more
time, I tapped him on the shoulder and hissed, "WILL YOU PLEASE STOP
DOING THAT?" He turned around and indignantly whispered, "What's your
problem? I've got the sound turned off." Not wanting to engage in
fisticuffs in Avery Fisher Hall, I could only stare at him with my
most contemptuous glare, while his unfortunate girlfriend or wife
pretended nothing was happening. I anticipated accusing him of having
the manners of a pig after the applause, but the couple left
immediately after the performance. Whatever happened to nice manners?
Call me an old grouch, but technology has made us a nation of pigs
and monsters. Can we change back before the full moon?
[a few days later]
You may want to add this from tonight: The obnoxious bozo on my left at a celebratory bicentennial concert for Felix Mendelssohn's birthday slept through the first half, including a riveting performance of the violin concerto by Anne-Sophie Mutter. During the second half -- a rare chance to experience "The First Walpurgis Night" cantata -- this pig turned on his cellphone to check messages, making offensive noise and flashing irritating blue light. I wanted to throttle him.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Sunday, December 7, 2008
What's Up with Turner Classic Movies?
As part of his introduction to the Charles Laughton movie, "Payment Deferred" (1932), Robert Osborne said that Ray Milland, with a part in the film, was seen in the credits as the more unfamiliar "Raymond Milland." But then the film came on, with the actor billed as ... Ray Milland.
The King's English
In the December 4, 2008, New York Times, there is an interview with First Lady Laura Bush. She is quoted thusly:
"I just like to think about the people who lived here [in the White House] before me," she said. "When both George and me walked through all of these rooms, these rooms downstairs as well as our residence, we're very aware of all the presidents before us."
When both George and me walked through all of these rooms? When both George and me walked through all of these rooms? When both George and me walked through all of these rooms?
Help!
"I just like to think about the people who lived here [in the White House] before me," she said. "When both George and me walked through all of these rooms, these rooms downstairs as well as our residence, we're very aware of all the presidents before us."
When both George and me walked through all of these rooms? When both George and me walked through all of these rooms? When both George and me walked through all of these rooms?
Help!
Some Rants from Movie Grouch
Occasionally, Old Grouch receives e-mail rants from Movie Grouch. With MG's permission, these are hereby posted for One And All to see, with swearing omitted.
(from April 2007)
I am still appalled from last night at MOMA, when I attended two Rainer Werner Fassbinder movies. Now, I know this is nothing on the order of the war in Iraq, or the grief of Virginia Tech families, but it is yet more evidence of the decline and fall of what we used to call Western Civilization. To emphasize: This is the Museum of Modern Art, with one of the most sophisticated film programs and audiences in the country, not some Cine 22 in the suburbs showing Lindsay Lohan movies. Ready? The man three seats to my right fell asleep immediately and began snoring, but only intermittently, so each time I was on the verge of tapping him, he would stop snoring. The woman behind me on the left was snacking or eating dinner and kept crinkling paper slowly and maddeningly. Two rows in front of me a young woman kept turning on her cellphone or Blackberry to check whatever, with the blue light painfully obvious, and she was either answering or reading, because she didn't turn it off. Ahead on the left, another young person kept turning her cellphone on and off, but finally another furious patron told her to stop it. I am not even including a couple of cellphones going off during the film, despite warnings on the screen that food, drink and cellphone use were not allowed. I could not simultaneously attack three different people for bad manners without seeming like a lunatic, so I just stewed in my own anger and reported the incidents to the House Manager at the end. He said that audience rudeness had been getting worse and worse and it was difficult to know what to do about it, especially cellphones and snacks. During the weekend showing of "Berlin Alexanderplatz," some a--hole in front of me actually brought his laptop into the cinema and worked away on something, with the bright light shining in my face, but at least he had the courtesy to turn it off when the house lights dimmed. And both the New York Film Society and the Film Forum wonder why their earned income has been nose-diving: Yes, it's because of DVDs and computers, but it also has to do with how unpleasant it has become to attend almost any event at any cinema. And this is NYC: Can you imagine if we were in Springfield, Missouri?! I am unable to remember the last time I sat in a cinema in absolute uninterrupted silence with the rest of the audience.
And here's a very recent e-mail from Movie Grouch, just received this past week:
Subject: Well, It Was Bound to Happen!
Today I asked our young female intern who was going to the local post office to get me a sheet of Bette Davis stamps, and she ACTUALLY ASKED ME WHO BETTE DAVIS WAS!! I explained but my heart wasn't in it.
(from April 2007)
I am still appalled from last night at MOMA, when I attended two Rainer Werner Fassbinder movies. Now, I know this is nothing on the order of the war in Iraq, or the grief of Virginia Tech families, but it is yet more evidence of the decline and fall of what we used to call Western Civilization. To emphasize: This is the Museum of Modern Art, with one of the most sophisticated film programs and audiences in the country, not some Cine 22 in the suburbs showing Lindsay Lohan movies. Ready? The man three seats to my right fell asleep immediately and began snoring, but only intermittently, so each time I was on the verge of tapping him, he would stop snoring. The woman behind me on the left was snacking or eating dinner and kept crinkling paper slowly and maddeningly. Two rows in front of me a young woman kept turning on her cellphone or Blackberry to check whatever, with the blue light painfully obvious, and she was either answering or reading, because she didn't turn it off. Ahead on the left, another young person kept turning her cellphone on and off, but finally another furious patron told her to stop it. I am not even including a couple of cellphones going off during the film, despite warnings on the screen that food, drink and cellphone use were not allowed. I could not simultaneously attack three different people for bad manners without seeming like a lunatic, so I just stewed in my own anger and reported the incidents to the House Manager at the end. He said that audience rudeness had been getting worse and worse and it was difficult to know what to do about it, especially cellphones and snacks. During the weekend showing of "Berlin Alexanderplatz," some a--hole in front of me actually brought his laptop into the cinema and worked away on something, with the bright light shining in my face, but at least he had the courtesy to turn it off when the house lights dimmed. And both the New York Film Society and the Film Forum wonder why their earned income has been nose-diving: Yes, it's because of DVDs and computers, but it also has to do with how unpleasant it has become to attend almost any event at any cinema. And this is NYC: Can you imagine if we were in Springfield, Missouri?! I am unable to remember the last time I sat in a cinema in absolute uninterrupted silence with the rest of the audience.
And here's a very recent e-mail from Movie Grouch, just received this past week:
Subject: Well, It Was Bound to Happen!
Today I asked our young female intern who was going to the local post office to get me a sheet of Bette Davis stamps, and she ACTUALLY ASKED ME WHO BETTE DAVIS WAS!! I explained but my heart wasn't in it.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Return of Variety? God Forbid!
Last night, Rosie O'Donnell presented a live special on NBC-TV which was a promised return to the long-gone variety series that once populated the TV screen. When Old Grouch was a wee lad, he very much enjoyed "The Ed Sullivan Show" (seeing the original cast of "Camelot," for instance, and the American TV debut of The Beatles), "The Garry Moore Show" (where Carol Burnett was a regular for a while, along with Durwood Kirby, Marian Lorne, Don Crichton, and, later, Dorothy Loudon), "The Hollywood Palace" (where older stars like Eleanor Powell often appeared), and many others. Old Grouch went off to boarding school for three years and then college for four, so a lot of TV was missed during that period, but there were other series like "Sonny and Cher," "Glen Campbell Goodtime Hour," "The Smothers Brothers," "The Dean Martin Show," "The Judy Garland Show," "The Andy Williams Show," and others.
The formats were fairly simple -- a charming host or two; resident singers and dancers; guest comedians, skits, and sometimes some acrobatic acts. Ed Sullivan's show was a bit more like a classy vaudeville bill, with opera stars, Broadway stars, ballet dancers, circus performers, Topo Gigio, comics, nightclub performers, etc. You saw it all, and learned a lot about culture.
I remember noticing, at some point in the mid-to-late Sixties, that singing stopped being live. When stars -- even the hosts -- began to sing, they would lip-synch to a pre-recorded track. I know this has been done forever in movie musicals, but on TV it took on an ethereal, fake quality. (Some people claim they can't tell when something is dubbed; I've always been able to sniff it out, even in Hollywood films, when they loop in one word or one sentence. It's always obvious to me.) This post-dub direction changed variety shows for me, making them less spontaneous.
The New York Times interviewed Carol Burnett about Rosie's return to variety, and Carol wished her well. But when you remember Carol's series ... let me correct this ... when I remember Carol's series, I remember warm colors, inviting sets, people talking to each other ... it was a family, even throughout all the comedy.
Last night, Rosie's variety show was a shrill, pushy affair, bathed in the alienating colors of red and black. Let's face it -- Rosie is a lot to take. When she was modest and pretending to be straight back during her daytime show, she was a sweet booster of talent. Now she is strident and irritating. There was no warmth; no people just talking to one another. During dance or performances, cameras were zooming around, lights were flashing, and it was the same old crap we see on TV during any awards program. You know what folks? We are trying to watch talent. Let us see them. SLOW DOWN. Keep the camera in one place for 30 seconds so we can orient ourselves, get a sense of how they move, how they inhabit their bodies and work their magic.
Rosie said she was going to avoid the political, but then she raised her arms to the skies in gratitude to the election of Barack Obama (we agree, but it was out of place on this show), and then she had cutsy-pie references to being gay (she and Clay Aiken, she mused, had something in common -- they were both "GAY-briel Byrne fans." Ho, ho, ho, another crummy Seth Rudetsky joke. Will someone kill off that evil queen's career? He sets strides by homosexuals back to the Middle Ages.
Rosie O'Donnell's special last night was a depressing affair, particularly to those of us waiting for a warm variety format. And by the way, the product integration number sung by Jane Krakowski to "You Gotta Get A Gimmick" from Gypsy, was just lower than low. NBC programming head Ben Silverman is a handsome guy, but his product integration innovations are putting entertainment into the toilet. We hate commercials, okay -- no matter where, no matter how.
For the record, Rosie had Alec Baldwin (lost at sea), Conan O'Brien (stupid pie-in-the-face bit), poor Ms. Krakowski, Liza Minnelli trying too hard (as usual), Rachel Ray, some white dancer twins who were ripping off Savion Glover, some smooth black dude doing a repetitive song, and an over-the-top finale that was headache-inducing.
Somebody else please give variety a try!
The formats were fairly simple -- a charming host or two; resident singers and dancers; guest comedians, skits, and sometimes some acrobatic acts. Ed Sullivan's show was a bit more like a classy vaudeville bill, with opera stars, Broadway stars, ballet dancers, circus performers, Topo Gigio, comics, nightclub performers, etc. You saw it all, and learned a lot about culture.
I remember noticing, at some point in the mid-to-late Sixties, that singing stopped being live. When stars -- even the hosts -- began to sing, they would lip-synch to a pre-recorded track. I know this has been done forever in movie musicals, but on TV it took on an ethereal, fake quality. (Some people claim they can't tell when something is dubbed; I've always been able to sniff it out, even in Hollywood films, when they loop in one word or one sentence. It's always obvious to me.) This post-dub direction changed variety shows for me, making them less spontaneous.
The New York Times interviewed Carol Burnett about Rosie's return to variety, and Carol wished her well. But when you remember Carol's series ... let me correct this ... when I remember Carol's series, I remember warm colors, inviting sets, people talking to each other ... it was a family, even throughout all the comedy.
Last night, Rosie's variety show was a shrill, pushy affair, bathed in the alienating colors of red and black. Let's face it -- Rosie is a lot to take. When she was modest and pretending to be straight back during her daytime show, she was a sweet booster of talent. Now she is strident and irritating. There was no warmth; no people just talking to one another. During dance or performances, cameras were zooming around, lights were flashing, and it was the same old crap we see on TV during any awards program. You know what folks? We are trying to watch talent. Let us see them. SLOW DOWN. Keep the camera in one place for 30 seconds so we can orient ourselves, get a sense of how they move, how they inhabit their bodies and work their magic.
Rosie said she was going to avoid the political, but then she raised her arms to the skies in gratitude to the election of Barack Obama (we agree, but it was out of place on this show), and then she had cutsy-pie references to being gay (she and Clay Aiken, she mused, had something in common -- they were both "GAY-briel Byrne fans." Ho, ho, ho, another crummy Seth Rudetsky joke. Will someone kill off that evil queen's career? He sets strides by homosexuals back to the Middle Ages.
Rosie O'Donnell's special last night was a depressing affair, particularly to those of us waiting for a warm variety format. And by the way, the product integration number sung by Jane Krakowski to "You Gotta Get A Gimmick" from Gypsy, was just lower than low. NBC programming head Ben Silverman is a handsome guy, but his product integration innovations are putting entertainment into the toilet. We hate commercials, okay -- no matter where, no matter how.
For the record, Rosie had Alec Baldwin (lost at sea), Conan O'Brien (stupid pie-in-the-face bit), poor Ms. Krakowski, Liza Minnelli trying too hard (as usual), Rachel Ray, some white dancer twins who were ripping off Savion Glover, some smooth black dude doing a repetitive song, and an over-the-top finale that was headache-inducing.
Somebody else please give variety a try!
Monday, November 24, 2008
Is Old Grouch "Mr. Scrooge"? - Meditations on "White Christmas"
It appears that Old Grouch was "right on" about his prescient flutters regarding the current stage production of "White Christmas" here in New York City (see rant down below). Today's Daily Variety calls it "somewhat mechanical ... staffed with mostly second-tier talent." The review likens it to another "vat of rehydrated egg nog," the Radio City Christmas Spectacular, in that it is an excuse for a lot of flashy production numbers. The book scenes are cited as "mummified," with "drippy dialogue"; the vocals are called, "polished, if not quite dazzling. ... This kind of forthy, populous presentation may floor them in the hinterlands, but New York theatergoers can see more accomplished ensembles in five-night Encores! runs." Hey, I just saved over $100! I'm getting a massage!
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
More Questions
Can we confine New York Times Arts & Leisure section stories and critics' reviews to a couple of columns? More wind than hurricane season!
Why do young people want to read a book and listen to iPods at the same time?
Why are people having children that they hand off to nannies for 10 hours a day?
Why, when people are out for walks with their children or their pets, are they on the cellphone with someone else?
Why, when some dogs are being walked and they look up in happiness at their owners, do the owners never notice?
Old Grouch is out of town till 11/18, so you'll have to wait for more Grouchy Posts till shortly thereafter.
Why do young people want to read a book and listen to iPods at the same time?
Why are people having children that they hand off to nannies for 10 hours a day?
Why, when people are out for walks with their children or their pets, are they on the cellphone with someone else?
Why, when some dogs are being walked and they look up in happiness at their owners, do the owners never notice?
Old Grouch is out of town till 11/18, so you'll have to wait for more Grouchy Posts till shortly thereafter.
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